“I don’t know how to sport” – The Anti-Fan Reviews: Arsenal vs Bayern Munich

For many, sport is life’s single most interesting, dramatic and exciting outlet.
Unfortunately, not everyone is of the same opinion.
Step forward our Anti-Fan, who has no interest in nor understanding of this concept.
We wanted to change their mind by letting them get some first-hand experience.
Every week they’ll review a different event and allow us to not only see the world of sport through their eyes, but maybe even convert them to the dark side as well!

The Season Ticket Team.


Football (or Soccer if you’re an American), is a sport where two opposing teams of eleven ‘Footballers’ (or Soccer-ers if you’re an American) attempt to kick a ball into nets placed at opposite ends of a pitch (or a Socc-arium if you’re an American).

This week I watched two such Football teams, Arsenal and Bayern of House Munich play a game-match to see who could be the Champion of the League. Or something.

Football is an efficient name, because it outlines the main rule of the game: you can only interact with the ball by using your feet. Arms aren’t necessary, all you are really allowed to use them for is to wave to your mum in the stands and maybe to stabilise you at high speeds like aerofoils.

The match started with a kick off, where one footballer kicks the ball and everybody flies into a kind of organised panic and run after it. They continued running after it for an entire hour.

Eventually Arsenal managed to score a goal, the whole thing happened in some kind of messy, panicked scrum. Olivier Giroud skillfully palmed the ball into the Munich net with a sort of floppy-limp-wrist maneuver. Admittedly, this didn’t seem right to me, he didn’t foot the ball.

The game continued with Arsenal pressing their lead against the beleaguered House Munich. The Bayerns put up a stout defence against Arsenal’s offensive, probably, I can’t really tell. However it wasn’t long before Arsenal struck another goal-point. Mesut Özil kicked the ball and it went into the net and that made a goal happen, and everyone was happy and hugged each other, because positive reinforcement is important.

It’s nice to see Arsenal acknowledge that, I bet their locker rooms have motivational posters all over the walls.

The match was over, Arsenal were victorious, the winter will claim Bayern of House Munich.

All in all it was an interesting experience watching a football match, it was a lot like watching Fifa at a house party, the only difference being that no matter how much I whined no one switched over to Halo.


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