Anti Fan Reviews: Super Bowl 50 Half-Time Show

This week I watched the Super Bowl.
The Super Bowl is the annual championship of American Football (also known as concussion ball).

American Football differs from European Football, for one thing the ball isn’t a ball, it’s a sort of suppository-pill shape.

This year’s Super Bowl final was between the Denver Broncos, and the Carolina Panthers, each named after their respective spirit animals

One of the most anticipated parts of the Super Bowl is the half time show, that’s the bit where the teams stop playing sports and some bands come out and play a song.

It’s a nice break for the players, and I’m sure the ones who miraculously still have higher brain function enjoy it.

The show started out with Chris Martin from Coldplay squatting out on the field and spraying bland everywhere like a firehose full of porridge.

First shot


A stampede of people ran by brimming with corporate-mandated enthusiasm and Chris ambled up onto the stage with all the gravitas of a damp sliced pan.

The stage was a giant screen projecting an image of a nighmarish swirling portal.

shot 2

I shook my head and tried to ignore it, but a creeping sense of unease settled on me.
Suddenly, the portal flared  into a hellish fireball and Martin jumped in the air, as if he was diving into an infernal hellgate.

shot 3

I was shaken by the satanic imagery I was seeing.
What did it mean?

While I was still reeling Bruno Mars appeared, wearing what looked like an exquisitely tailored bin-liner. Mars and his similarly black bag bedecked band jumped triumphantly onto the stage.

That’s when I saw it…

Shot 4

Do you see it? No? Look closer.

Shot 5

The all seeing eye of the Illuminati.

The entire Super Bowl halftime show was clearly a hypnotic ritual intended to weaken the minds of the populace before the instatement of the New World Order.

Bruno Mars gave way to Beyonce, who led a platoon of militant go-go dancers, the foot troops of the NWO.

shot 6

She and her black-clad dancers started to stamp around the pitch, no doubt this was intended to be symbolic of the NWO stamping out all free will.

breplace

 

Using her powerful thighs Beyonce powered up onto the stage to join Bruno and Chris ‘Skimmed Milk’ Martin, for one last psychic assault on the audience.

shot 10

I was prepared.
I had wisely wrapped my head in layers of tinfoil to insulate my mind from their attack.
At long last they retired from the field. Their dreadful ritual finished.

Final image

The teams returned to the field and resumed their match. Were they in cahoots with the shadowy Illuminati overlords, or were they mind-slaved serfs like so many others?

In the end the Denver Broncos beat the Panthers 24 – 10.
Not that it matters, when the NWO sends its jack-booted eat corps to take over and releases its mind control drugs into the atmosphere none of this will matter…

Wake up sheeple!

 

 

 

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